Resilience is defined as springing back, rebounding. Returning to the original form or position after being bent, compressed, or stretched. Recovering readily from illness, depression, adversity or the like; buoyant.
To be honest I have seen the word resilient in a few places since I’m an avid reader but never had I took the time to define the word. So a few days ago in my hotel where I got away for the weekend I was on the balcony reading Takerra Allen’s new release, “An Affair in Munthill” and I kept seeing the word appear…so that led me to getting up and defining the word.
So one more time before I dive into the newest stamp in The Passport.
Resilience is defined as springing back, rebounding. Returning to the original form or position after being bent, compressed, or stretched. Recovering readily from illness, depression, adversity or the like; buoyant.
Okay since I’m a firm believer in Christ and in His word He tells us three times for confirmation.
Say it aloud one more time for me.
Resilience is defined as springing back, rebounding. Returning to the original form or position after being bent, compressed, or stretched. Recovering readily from illness, depression, adversity or the like; buoyant.
Got it?
Okay Cool!
It has been quite some time since I publicly posted a blog, however I write every day. I don’t necessarily record my own personal thoughts on a daily basis but in one way or another my thoughts are reflected in any book that you have read by me.
That word stuck out to me something serious.
2016 has been horrible, depressing, miserable and emotional.
And then one day I told myself, “NO MORE”
I found the strength to get my number changed, delete pictures, videos, forgive a few folks and my favorite thing to do these days, block tons of people.
No longer do I have the energy to be “fake”
If I don’t like you, I don’t like you.
If I don’t connect to your spirit then I just don’t.
There isn’t anything left in me to force friendships, relationships and even business connections.
In trusting God, I removed myself from a lot of situations and made no apologies for it.
In trusting God, I went back to what I knew what was right for me at this time in my life and career and I made no apologies for it nor did I offer an explanation.
In trusting God, I moved out of my beautiful condo with my boyfriend of three years and back into my parents home where I now sleep in the guest room. I made no apologies for it.
In trusting God, I separated myself from people who probably considered me a friend and I made no apologies for it.
In trusting God, I believed that where He had me was for a reason.
No one deserves to be unhappy.
I didn’t deserve to be unhappy.
Resilience.
2015 was amazing so why couldn’t be 2016 be the same way? this is the question I asked myself over and over again as I stayed up some nights crying my soul out because I was hurt, rejected and betrayed.
I felt my confidence being stripped from me and literally it all happened in one period of time, from my boyfriend cheating on me, to my books flopping back to back, to people hurting me, people close to me.
Suicide crossed my mind a few times but I couldn’t bring myself to take my life.
I have to much to life for and I know I do.
Before I lost my mind and brought despair to my family I unplugged.
I spent some much needed time with myself.
I deactivated my accounts, fasted, meditated and prayed.
I cried as much as I wanted too and I slept.
See, life is funny acting.
And God is too lol.
When everything was going good for me I got lazy, I took my eyes off of Him I became lazy with my prayer and meditation.
I made excuses like “Oh I can’t go to church tonight because I have to finish my book” or “Anthony wants to do dinner so I don’t have time to go to help clean the church or go to dance practice”
Selfishly, I was placing everything in front of HIM
And He showed me.
Resilience.
I truly believe that God had to separate me from everything that made me comfortable and “happy” to show me some things.
I’m not who I was four years ago, I’m not even who I was a year ago.
I find myself filled with guilt and resentment sometimes, knowing that people who knew me “way back then” are watching me and probably saying all kinds of things.
I tend to delete my statuses sometimes just because I know that classmates and such are seeing them. People that I’ve done all kinds of crazy things with are probably like, “really nako?”
And it’s not fair to me.
But change is real and I know what God has brought me through, so why does it bother me?
Resilience.
In my quiet time, I read the same chapter over and over again asking God to bring it forward in my life.
Matthew 6 reads “What you do in secret God rewards openly”
My prayer for 2016 is that what I do in secret God will bless me openly.
So now there isn’t a need to announce the moves I’m making, the people I’m meeting, the things I’m seeing.
It will all come forward when He tells me to do it.
Resilience.
Today, I told myself I’m going to blog after months of silence.
My struggles just may be yours as well or not…who knows.
Writing is therapy.
I just knew that my breakup was going to kill me. literally.
I pictured my death every night when I laid in bed.
My heart was ruined and even after it was, I found myself still wanting him, still loving him, still chasing after him
And then one day one of my readers sent me a book, “Dear Woman”
And I read that book with tears cascading down my face as I turned every page and the next morning I blocked his number, there was no long text message, no closure, no voicemail. i just did it and i haven't talked to him since.
Resilience.
Since then, smiles cross my face easier, sleep comes faster, and I’m filled with joy.
To the broken heart…He won’t change
He can apologize a million times but until his actions align with the words that fall from his lips….fuck him.
To the girl who has been betrayed by people, whether friends or not.
Let it go.
Move on.
God will bless you with the people that deserves you and sees your worth.
Trust me.
To the person struggling with purpose and a breakthrough.
Be patient.
Be resilient.
xoxoNAKO