CONTRACTIONS

Contractions.

I listened to a podcast by Myleik and she said something that stuck out to me – we have to create a life outside of work.

So the question that I asked myself was what if life is work and work is life. What if the one thing that we do to unwind, smile, release, reset and sometimes relax…is work.

What if it is the paycheck?

What do we do then?

Last week, I celebrated life with my friend Brittany at her birthday dinner, let me say that the place she chose was EXCELLENT. My food was so good I ordered a to-go of the exact same thing. A review will be posted soon on my travel and food blog, on Instagram at @atravelingpeach.

At her dinner, I didn’t know anyone there except her but because I tend to blend well with people I hit it off with a few of her friends and family. Towards the end of the dinner everyone kind of grouped off into small and intimate conversations and I found myself chatting with her classmate about life and living life…outside of work.

So as our conversation grew deeper I realized that I don’t really know what to do if you want to live life outside of work but I definitely need to find out.

I love to write but have barely written anything in about a month. And the sad thing is I could care less.

I spent yesterday working on new ventures and in a short time I have finally realized what people have been preaching to me all along- TWITTER IS CONNECTED.

So since then, I’ve created new connections, joined a business organization and it’s a membership fee monthly and I’m just like yall better impress me quick cus Google is free. I’ve taken some classes to strengthen my skills, and I’ve felt like there is something else for me to do. Outside of work.

And that feels good.

I’m not big on the clubs, I’m not big on being out late at night because granny be ready to get IN THE BED.

These past two weeks, or should I say week…maybe two weeks I haven’t really felt like myself.

I feel….. I don’t know.

I thought I knew but I don’t know.

I do know that I don’t feel like Nakoreya.

Being so…stagnant isn’t me.

Well, this stamp isn’t about that.

I’ve accepted where I am right now and I had a conversation last night with one of my readers who I can say has become a good source of conversation lol. Me and Janesha will get on that phone and can’t get off.

She started off helping me with visuals, and marketing ideas for my books and then a few months ago the conversation shifted so every blue moon me and her talk but last night we texted and we plan on speaking tonight to catch up.

 But anyway, we were texting last night and she said that we’re in a season and God is doing something in this season, so basically it’s no need to fret not.

It’s no need to worry or be weary.

This stamp is for anyone that may be pregnant.

And not in the physical.

See, I know that when you are pregnant you first are nervous. That’s the first feeling you feel and then you become excited at the possibility of expecting.

And then as the months go by you begin to feel pains.

And morning sickness.

And all kinds of emotions.

You go from being happy to screaming you can’t wait until your baby comes.

And you know…that’s how I feel.

I told that guy at my friend’s dinner, I can’t wait to get over whatever it is that I’m going through right now.

It’s not a word that I can find to describe how I feel.

But I know I’m in labor.

I’m birthing something new.

One thing that I can stand firmly on is that God has a mysterious way of working things out in our favor.

I know for sure that there is something brewing in the Heavens with my name on it.

With my 24th birthday rapidly approaching I found myself wondering what am I doing and when.

It’s so much that I could do, I’ve made invitations for a birthday party.

Ordered a dress and cake.

And then decided I rather go to my friend’s mom birthday and get drunk there then go home.

I then thought about having a sleepover but changed my mind about that too.

This birthday seems to be different for me and I won’t be able to tell you why until the day actually gets here.

Tomorrow, I’m scheduled to go to Mexico I’ve cancelled this trip a million times in my head and at this current time, it’s cancelled again.

I wanna go – to clear my head. To reset and relax.

To think.

To figure out some things and then at the same time I’m like I can do that at home.

Why do we always feel the need to run when things aren’t working out? I have a “take off” problem.

I tend to recluse when I’m not feeling like myself.

I shut everyone out and everything down and I just deal with me.

Pregnancy is a journey.

The journey last nine months.

And sometimes, pregnancy isn’t easy but at the end...it’s worth it.

Pregnancy can have you up and down.

And that’s how I feel right now.

I received good news yesterday on top of knocking out two major goals on my vision boards so yesterday was great for me and then I woke up today back down in the dumps.

Pregnancy.

My friend is taking me to lunch in a few hours so we can talk and figure life out and I told her girl I feel like I’m having a baby I don’t know if I can get out of bed.

It was a figurative statement but that’s how I feel.

Seriously.

I’m on the verge of releasing something new.

Birthing something new.

Doing something new.

And it’s almost scary but exciting at the same time.

I thought that the worst thing I experienced this year was my mama and cancer.

But no, we got through that, fought through that.

The one thing that I have had to experience was forgiveness.

And I hate when shit happens towards the end of the year and it makes you think the year was all bad when really it wasn’t.

I’m not in a place where I’m ready to share exactly what is going on with me right now. Or exactly how I’m feeling and it’s because I’m still dealing with it.

I’m still heavily affected.

And you know, I’m a libra, our scales tip daily.

So yesterday I was bopping all over my house in a good ole mood and then today, I’m like “Where is the Patron”

So again, this stamp isn’t about me or how I’m feeling.

It’s for those that have faith that where you are is not where you will always be. I tend to go ghost, I take social media vacations. I cut my phone off for long periods of time. I listen to the same songs over and over again. I stay in the shower until the water runs cold. I cry until my head hurts. I fuck until I can’t fuck no more. I do things to block out or to temporarily deal with whatever it is that I’m dealing with.

And I never vowed to be perfect and I never vowed to not be affected and I think that when they assume you don’t break. They break you.

And I think that they when they assume nothing can hurt you. They hurt you.

And I think that they when they convince themselves that you don’t need it or want it. They become selfish.

And I think that I’m broken.

And I think that I’m hurting.

And I think that I need and want more.

I wrote this stamp for anyone that is on the brink of giving birth.

And you’re experiencing contractions.

And your water is about to break.

And you know that finally a blessing has come or is coming.

Pain don’t last forever.

And in that place of uncertainty you can find your peace.

Where you are…it’s not forever.

You wont be pregnant forever.

You wont be where you are forever.

You wont be broke, alone, down, sad, miserable, empty, incomplete, lost.

It’s not permanent.

Life is meant to be lived and lived with grace.

God has given us favor on top of favor.

God has given us the spirit of resilience.

We are lenders and not borrowers.

We are friends, we are listeners, we are warriors.

No matter how long you are pregnant, it’s all worth it when you go into labor.

Pregnant with purpose.

Pregnant with destiny.

Pregnant with passion.

Pregnant with peace.

Pregnant with joy.

Pregnant with life.

Whatever it is be thankful for that.

Be optimistic.

In this season, God is going to clearly show you whose for you and who ain’t.

When you’re in labor, there aren’t many people in the delivery room.

We have to learn how to understand the seasons of life and sometimes you may serve a purpose in someone’s life or they may serve one in yours or yall may have served one to another and then that’s it. Season.

When you are pregnant with something that’s God given, your labor in this season is not in vain.

Hold on to that.

Until next time,

Nako