The Pouring Process
I want more.
I wanted more.
I’m yearning for…more.
Church was good to me this past Sunday, Jesus Lord I cried from the pit of my soul and was relieved when service ended. I shared with the guest pastor that I was now free.
Kneeling before God and confessing that I was mentally drained. Physically burnt out. Overwhelmed. Lost. Confused. Weary. Insecure. Weak. Tired. And a few other emotions that I’m sure could describe how I felt.
The pastor said something that struck a nerve and instantly I typed the words into my phone and said, “this is my next stamp” I knew it had been awhile since I shared my thoughts and to keep things as organic and transparent as possible, I’ll only write when I feel led too.
Post when I know someone needs it.
I jotted three simple words into the note app on my cell phone.
The Pouring Process – read for the sake of your own sanity.
2018 is literally right around the corner, like does that scare you? That in a few short weeks we will be entering yet another year.
What have you done? What will you do?
Are you prepared?
I’ve asked myself this question quite often in the past few days. And uh, I think I’m ready.
I feel…ready.
I know my goals, I know where I want to travel to, I have a set amount of dollars that I want to enter the new year with in my account, the pounds I wish to shed and habits to rid myself of…you know these things are recorded in a notebook and in my head.
But when you really sit and contemplate 2018…ask yourself again are you ready?
The thing with beginning a new chapter is that we almost ALWAYS start off doing the right thing. At least for me, I know I do.
And then right when the second quarter make itself known I began to loosen up.
The goals get pushed aside as life hits me and the vision board gets dusty and then before I know it we’re saying, “HAPPY NEW YEAR”
That’s how 2017 was for me.
But let me tell you, 4th quarter victories.
After signing a distribution deal super early in the year…in the 4th quarter I received a release date.
God is still dropping off blessings at your door step. Trust and believe.
The Pouring Process.
Something triggered on the inside of me and I want to use the word finality.
Next steps. Over with and done.
And it came after someone left a review, I’m convinced that it was a fake one. Someone under a disguise, to a certain extent some of it could be true but the approach and delivery was nasty.
And I hate nice-nasty, always have.
However, I took that review and used it a sign. A bright sign. It was time for me to stop pouring.
I’ve always been that person who poured.
Poured even when my pitcher was empty.
And yes, people pour into me when they support and buy my books. And yes, that’s how I fund my lifestyle but so does many other authors.
And they’re not nearly as personal as I am.
It was time for me to stop pouring.
I’m not a “let me remind you” type of chick but on the day that review was posted I felt compelled to remind myself of all what I had done, all what I had given…and everything that I had poured.
My pastor shared with the congregration that some people will pour into you continuously just to be able to remind you that they did later on.
And that was my biggest fear..not being able to give back what I felt like my readers were giving me.
But is it okay if I’m not there anymore.
I’m no longer interested in holding conversations and doing meet-ups.
I have one literary event on the calendar next year and that very well may be the only one I do besides a few intimate pop-ups that I will coordinate myself.
Words hurt and Ill be the first to admit that I’m sensitive as shit.
Writing is pure therapy for me.
So it hurts like hell when someone tells me to give up, let it go or stop rushing.
It irritates me so bad because no one knows the mental process that I go under to produce such a masterpiece.
It’s not easy.
It’s never been…
I place myself in my character shoes and I live them…breathe them until the book has reached its end.
The Pouring Process.
I found myself removing myself from so many circles and when you take a few seconds and count the people you’re connected too..Jesus Lord it’s more than you think.
Take inventory.
Whose connected to you?
Furthermore, whose pouring into you?
In 2018, one-sided friendships and relationships will have to be a thing of my past.
I had someone tell me the other day that they felt incompetent.
And it boggled my mind all night.
Never do I want anyone to feel as if I’m better than them, that’s not my life motive.
The Pouring Process.
If your loved ones are behind or struggling to find their footing what are you doing to help?
I read a post on Facebook and the lady said, “stop telling your friend what she should be doing/could be doing when she confides in you that’s she lost, broken or depressed” and seriously..i closed out Facebook and shut my damn mouth.
It was conviction.
So now, I ask you.
If you are pouring, what are you pouring?
The Pouring Process.
Everyone won’t have a vision or purpose at the same time that you do.
You can’t pour ambition into every pitcher, sometimes that friend just needs a listening ear.
I’m in this weird place of being confident and secure in God’s promises and at the same time I am scared as shit.
The Pouring Process.
Self.
Do you practice self-care?
Another thing I learned in the 4th quarter is that getting your nails and feet done, hair, wax and lashes is maintenance not self-care.
None of those things pour into you. They may make you feel and look good. But it’s not self-help. It’s not apart of the pouring process.
In what ways can you pour into yourself in the area of self-care? This is what I’ve been in deep thought over the past days.
We have to protect the temple and the temple is US.
A clear mind is a blessing.
a good night’s rest is something that I used to take for granted.
The Pouring Process.
It’s time to pour, to pour like you’ve never poured before.
And pour with love.
Pour with intent.
Pour with hope and faith.
Pour because you know it turns into something.
And who you pour into matters.
Relationships.
As much as I love and adore my boyfriend, I’m constantly asking God for clear signs and wonders.
Is he worth my pouring process.
Does he deserve my pour?
It’s all good in between those sheets but I want more.
I desire more and what we want, we do deserve.
Never think that you have to settle or compromise.
And I’m not even saying that I am, but my goals grow. My vision is shifting. My standards are changing. I’m aligning with my purpose and sometimes what once fit, won’t fit always.
So I’m careful.
Careful with my prayers.
Careful with my words – this is new for me because I had a bad habit of saying any damn thing.
But that comes with pouring.
When you pour into yourself what are you pouring?
Are you speaking good things into your life? or are you constantly letting the devil win?
The Pouring Process.
I seriously seriously challenge you to get your mind right.
2018 is coming.
Are you prepared?
If you need to refill your pitcher with good things then do so.
Sometimes we need a season in our lives where we are alone.
And sometimes, God will have us pour into others versus ourselves.
Be obedient to His Will.
Because sometimes, He wants to see can you serve.
Can you give.
Can you do it without being weary or complaining.
Your season is coming, well your cup will runneth over.
I promise you.
It’s in His word.
In closing, I leave you with the challenge to pour.
Pour even when you don’t want to.
Get before Him and ask Him where to pour.
Pour without ceasing.
Pour in silence.
Pour without anyone knowing, pour without MEASURE.
What does that mean? Do unto others…you know the verse.
Be happy.
Be joyful.
Even if you’re pouring and you’re not seeing anything be produced.
Stay pouring.
Be steady with your pour.
With love.
NAKO